Your Words, Not Mine
by Enid Earthling
Summary: Rory is pregnant, Lorelai is worried and Emily is MIA. The Gilmore Girls are having a tough time of things. And as Luke and Jess try to help, Rory wonders: when should she tell the father? Or should she even tell him at all?
1. Chapter 1

Ice cream. So much ice cream. Mint and strawberry and chocolate and chocolate with nuts and marshmallows and peanut butter. Heaps of tater tots, oven cooked and deep fried, piled high with cheese and chives. A heart attack's worth of Chinese and Greek and Italian. Empty cartons and containers littering the table, some even on the floor.

"Come on," Luke cried out as his boot squished into a white cardboard box, the remnants of chicken chow mein oozing out beneath his foot. "This is Day Three of what I can only hope is a three day binge, right?"

"Yeah. Sure. Of course," Lorelai hollered from the living room, her legs curled underneath her, covered in a woolly blanket.

"Yeah, sure, of course?" Luke questioned, leaning against the archway, a paper towel to his boot. "Yeah, this is the last night? Sure, you won't leave food on the ground anymore? And of course you're sorry it just ruined the sole of my new boots?"

"Yeah, this is Day Three. Sure, you can hope it's only a three day binge, but I think we both know that's not the case. And of course you can have some. That's why I left it."

"On the floor?"

"Yep."

"My new boots."

Lorelai sighed, her eyes still firmly glued to the TV. "You bought those boots in 2011."

"I know. They're brand new."

His boot now clean, Luke tromped over to the couch and pushed Lorelai aside with his hip. She gladly threw back her blanket and welcomed him into her comfort cocoon.

"Is she still sleeping?" Luke asked.

Lorelai's head snapped, Crime TV marathon be damned, and her eyes leveled on Luke.

"I know. I'm not judging. Just asking," he said, his arms raised to defend himself.

Lorelai softened. "She's really tired."

"And you?" Luke's arm wrapped around Lorelai's shoulders and pulled her close.

"I'm tired too," she said, laying her head on his flannel shirt, the smell of diner coffee igniting her nostrils. "But she needs me."

"No one is more supportive of Rory, " Luke said, catching Lorelai stiffen in his arms, "no one but you, of course. But I just think it's time for her to figure some stuff out. Make a plan."

"Make a plan? Who are you right now?"

"I'm the responsible adult and-"

"And I'm the crazy mother who's holding on to her for dear life, plying her with food and love and food because I don't want things to change?"

"Your words, not mine," her tells her.

Lorelai pushed away from him and whipped off the blanket. "Is that really what you think?"

"Your words, not mine," he said, exacerbated.

"Because it's what I think," she revealed.

They sat silently, the blanket on the floor, Paul Anka resting on top as So You Murdered You Husband's Lover played too loudly on the TV.

###

"Okay, so you stay here, run The Gazette, get your own place maybe, and raise a you know what," Lane offered, precariously sitting on her drum stool as her twins played on the carpet nearby.

Rory sighed and flopped back on the couch.

"Okay, or… or you could tell Logan and-"

"No!" Rory cried, her forehead wrinkling in fear and anxiety.

"Sure, why tell the father?"

"Do I detect a hint of sarcasm? Or judgement? Are you judging me?"

"Whoa, crazy lady, no one is judging. And if anyone understands how freaked out you are it's me. Hello," Lane pointing to her children, "I am the queen of freaking out about you know what in the you know where."

"Lane, stop it. It's not a secret… at least not from your kids," Rory said, wondering if it was meant to be a secret at all.

"No, trust me," Lane explained. "If they hear you, they tell Zack, who tells Brain, who tells Gil and then everyone will know."

"Really? Because of Gil?"

"Yeah, he's like Hep Alien's resident Perez Hilton."

"That's a symptom of this town. There's nothing to do and somehow everything to talk about. Gossip is like wildfire here. Once it starts…" Rory complained. "Which is why option one doesn't make sense. I can't live in my old bedroom and have a… you know what, and raise it alongside my mother while everyone-"

"Talks about it behind you back?" Lane asked.

"Or to my face! There's no shame here," she sighed. "I have to leave Stars Hollow or this chi- you know what won't have a chance!"

Lane moved to the couch, her arms wrapping around Rory in a tight hug. "That's the you know what brain talking. You love Stars Hollow and I think we both know Lorelai did a damn good job raising you here."

Rory relinquished herself to the hug, her head nestled on Lane's shoulder. "I just thought things would be different. I'm 32 and-"

"And she was 16 and I was 20 and Halle Berry was 47."

"What?"

"I'm just saying life happens when it happens, you know?"

"Halle Berry's 47?"

"No, that was when she had her kid. She's gotta be in her 50's now."

"Wow. She looks amazing."

"I know, right? Anyway, all I'm saying is-"

"I know what you're saying," Rory tells her.

"So option two you move away and have the you know what and have no job or husband."

Rory yanks herself away from Lane's warm grasp. "Why is that option two?"

"Option three you move away and have the you know what and publish your award winning, best selling novel, and meet Michael Fassbender and finally settle down."

Rory shrugged. "Make it Chris Evans and I think we have a winner."

Lane rolled her eyes. "You have to decide. You can't keep sneaking out your bedroom window to come see me. You can't keep your mom on hold like this. Or your life on hold. If you eat anymore food you're going to OD on trans fats. And your mom isn't to stop feeding you until you tell her how she can help," Lane explained to her best friend, before standing and putting distance between them, as much distance as she could muster. "And I know you don't want to hear this, but you can't keep not calling Logan."

"Lane!" Rory shouted, throwing a pillow at her from across the room.

"See that's why I moved! That could have been a fist!"

"Okay, sorry, but you know what brain has yet to make me violent-"

Lane interjects, clearing her throat while holding up the pillow projectile.

"-more violent than I already was."

"Your words, not mine."

"Yeah, I know. This you know what is making me crazy."

They hold in silence as Steven and Kwan sneak from the room to the basement TV they're only supposed to watch one hour a day.

###

Rory climbs back into her first floor bedroom window, fall leaves tracking inside on the soles of her shoes.

"Hey, kid," Lorelai whispered as Rory jumped in fright.

She clutched her chest, her heart racing, her breath nearly gone.

"Oh my god. Are you okay?" Lorelai asked, rushing from her place on Rory's bed and to her daughter's side.

"What was that?" Rory asked, speaking in stops and starts.

"You snuck out. I was doing the Mom thing," Lorelai told her as they sat on the edge of the bed together.

"I thought you would be asleep," Rory told her.

"At 7? Really, 7 o'clock?"

"Yeah, really. You've been so tired lately-"

"I've been tired? Tired?"

"Why do you keep doing that?" Rory asked.

"Doing what?"

"Answering me with questions. The same question. Twice. What is going on?"

"What's going on-

"Stop, Mom. Seriously."

"Where have you been?"

"I'm 32. I can come and go as I please."

"I never said you couldn't, but 32 year olds usually use the front door. I didn't think sneaking out would start until you were 55 at least."

Rory sighed, shaking her head, discouraged and confused and not sure of what to say.

"Tell me where you were."

"At Lane's," Rory answered.

"You snuck out to see Lane?" Lorelai questioned, her voice rising into suspicious territory.

"Yes."

"Really?"

"Yes."

"I thought maybe you-"

"Snuck out to see Logan," Rory interjected.

"Something like that," Lorelai admitted in defeat. Her tough exterior was crumbling as fast as Rory's stomach was growing.

"It's only been three weeks, Mom. I just have to figure some things out and I can't do that with you hovering."

"I do not hover!" Lorelai shouted, her spirit crushed a little at the realization that she wouldn't always be considered the cool mom if this pregnancy refused to let up.

"You do. You are. I'm more full than I can ever remember being, which is saying a lot. And together we have seen every movie ever made, ever. Your Luke and Lorelai date nights have been replaced with mother-daughter couch time and-"

"What's wrong with mother-daughter couch time? You used to love that," Lorelai said, the hurt in her voice too noticeable for her liking.

"I still love it. Really. But you just got married and I don't want my thing to become your thing."

"Your thing is a baby. I think you win."

"I don't want to win!" Rory cried out.

After a moment of tension filled silence, Rory continued, "I don't know what I want, but I don't want this."

"What?" Lorelai asked, shocked.

"I don't want you to feed me and console me and spend all your time with and dote. Don't dote. I don't deserve doting."

"Don't deserve-" Lorelai began, but Rory continued, her words spilling out like water from a fountain.

"And I think I can decide for myself who to tell and when to tell them."

"Okay."

"So no pressure to call Logan or see Logan or speak about Logan."

"I wasn't-"

"I just need some time and space and then I will make a plan. Did you hear that Luke?!" Rory called. "I'm making a plan!"

"How did you know-"

"I need some air," Rory said, exhausted.

"You just came in from outside," Lorelai reminded her.

"Yeah, well, it's probably good for the baby, you know, fresh air and everything."

Rory stormed back to the window and slipped outside. Lorelai didn't stop her or even suggest the door. She knew she was hovering and she knew she was worrying too much and she knew they _all_ needed a plan, but Rory's outburst made her think this craziness was something altogether different.

 _Oh, god,_ Lorelai thought, realizing who could help. Who would finally have to help if things were going to get better. "Luke!" she cried out and within a second Rory's bedroom door whipped open.

"What is it? What do you need?" Luke questioned, concern on his face.

"Can you call my mother? I just really don't want to have this conversation with her."

Luke sighed. "That was definitely not worth running here for."

###

"You making a break for it?" Jess asked as he came up on Rory stomping through the leaves, kicking a path away from her window.

Rory looked up, her eyes cresting with tears.

"Hey, hey," he said, rushing to her, his arms instinctively preparing to hold her, but in an instant she pulled away.

"What are you doing here?" Rory asked, embarrassed. She brought her hands to her face and quickly wiped her glassy eyes.

"I came to see Luke."

"I thought you left," she said.

"I did and then I came back."

Rory nodded, not sure what to make of his surprise appearance. She had gone four years without seeing him and now suddenly in the span of four months she'd seen him more times than she could count on both hands.

"Are you sure you're okay?" Jess asked.

"I never said I was okay," she told him.

He smiled. "No, I guess you never did."

Suddenly the porch light flicked on, illuminating the side yard as the sun set behind the roof. Rory grabbed Jess' hand and ran behind Lorelai's Jeep, out of sight from any prying eyes.

"Whoa, hey! What are you doing?" he asked, after finding himself crouched on the cold ground beside her. "Are we hiding from Lorelai? Or Luke? Oh, god, what did Luke do?"

"We're hiding from me," she said, resigning herself to the fact that she had stormed out for "fresh air" without knowing where she was going, who she was going to see, or what she was going to do.

Jess waited for her to explain. "If I go back in there I have to make a plan."

"You love plans," he reminded her.

"Yes, normally there is nothing Rory Gilmore loves more than a good plan. But I'm not that Rory Gilmore anymore. I've done some pretty terrible things with people who- a person who should have known better. We both should have. And now I'm here and-"

"Is this about the book? I thought you had three chapters done. Lorelai's on board. I thought that was good," Jess questioned.

"It is. It was. It's just I thought I was writing about two Gilmore women. Maybe three. But now…"

Rory leaned on the Jeep, her back soaking up the coolness of the metal door, calming her flushed cheeks and numbing her shaking hands.

"Rory, what are you talking about?"

"Jess," she said, turning to look at him; she loved looking at him. She loved the way he was looking at her. But the plan had to start sometime. "Jess, I'm pregnant."

"Rory… is it mine?"


	2. Chapter 2

"I think we're going to need a bigger boat."

"What?"

"A bigger dress. I meant a bigger dress," Lorelai said, smirking.

"Hey, this is not my fault," Rory retorted, only to be met with a pair of rolling eyes. "Okay, yes, it's my fault, but who knew I would get so big so fast."

"Big?" Lorelai cracked. "You are not big. It looks like you had one too many tacos, sure, but not a baby."

"It looks like I ate a baby?" Rory exclaimed, trying desperately to flatten the buckling fabric over her belly.

"A taco baby. Mmm," her mother joked, but she could tell Rory was in no laughing mood. "Alright, alright. I take it back. It doesn't look like you ate tacos or a baby or a taco baby. Maybe I just shrunk the dress. You know, I'm married now, all scatter brained and what not. What side of the bed will I sleep on? How come he doesn't wash the dishes after dinner? Are we going to have one bank account or two? The usually married lady stuff is obviously making it impossible to do laundry and therefore I ruined your previously perfectly sized dress."

Rory sighed. "I appreciate you trying, Mom, but you sleep on the left side, always have. Plus, Luke does the dishes every night _after_ cooking the meal. And the bank account stuff is your business, but I would say have separate accounts and then one joint account where you can pool some money to take care of bills and the mortgage and what not."

"Listen to you," Lorelai said, impressed. "My little girl, all grown up."

"If all grown up is a euphemism for your dress doesn't fit because you are a fatty I'm going to scream," Rory exclaimed. "You didn't shrink it. I'm getting bigger and eventually… sooner than eventually, I'm going to have to tell people."

"People like Jess?"

"Whoa, where did that come from?" Rory asked, her eyes filled with wild surprise.

"A little birdy told me-"

"Nope. I'm going to stop you right there. Unless you're Taylor, there are no little birdies allowed in here."

Lorelai chuckled. "Sorry. I've been to one too many town halls this week."

"This week?!"

"Don't ask," Lorelai told her as Rory stripped off the too-tight dress and began rummaging through her boxed up belongings. Even after a year of rootlessness, not all of Rory clothes had found a permanent spot in her childhood closet. They both knew why: Rory just didn't want to admit defeat.

"No, sorry, I have to ask," Rory said as she slipped into a black pencil skirt. Lorelai scrunched up her nose in disapproval and Rory stripped the fabric off again.

"Taylor wants to institute a no driving policy in the town square."

"The whole town _is_ the town square," Rory replied, her mouth curling into a sly smile. As much as she knew in her head that Starts Hollow was the wrong place to raise this child, her heart constantly beat something different.

"Well, Taylor thinks there's too much vehicle congestion. He wants to quote, "bring back the small-town charm," end of quote."

Rory laughed. "I don't think this place could take anymore small-town charm. It's literally dripping with it." She fit her form into a navy blue A-line dress and turned to Lorelai.

"That's the one. Now let's go to Luke's and get coffee before you have to go."

"Nice try, Mom," Rory said, stopping Lorelai from exiting the room with her own body.

"Not fair. You're huge. I can't get past you now," Lorelai cracked, before easily slipping under Rory's raised arm and out the bedroom door into the kitchen.

"So not cool. You know I'm nervous about showing," her daughter whined.

"You're not showing. You're like 3 minutes pregnant. No one knows," Lorelai tried to assure her.

"No one except Jess," Rory said.

"Ah-ha! I knew it!" Lorelai exclaimed, jumping in place.

"No ah-ha. No I knew it. How did you even know Jess was here? And no more little birdy crap," Rory said, hands on her hips.

"Man, this whole pregnancy thing has made you sassy and bossy and a little mouthy," Lorelai told her. "I kinda like it."

They both smiled.

"Alright, Luke told me Jess was back in town. So rather than a little birdy it was a badass hawk," Lorelai joked.

"Luke told you that I told Jess that I was pregnant?" Rory asked, a little heartbroken that Jess would divulge her secrets like that - even if he was divulging them to someone who already knew the secret.

"No, Luke just told me he was in town. Which means the brown-haired guy I was sure I saw you hiding with behind my Jeep the other night was definitely him. Which also means you told him because… well, because it's Jess."

Damn her mom knew her.

"Now are we going to get coffee before your meeting or what?" Lorelai asked, jacket already sliding over her shoulders.

"I guess we have to," Rory joked, grabbing her own jacket and purse.

"You sure you want to do this?"

"Get coffee? I said yes."

"Not that," Lorelai said, taking her daughter's hand in her own. "Are you sure you want to shop your book to another publishing house? I sort of thought Jess gave you the idea so you would-"

"Some things happened and I'm just not sure I can work with him," Rory interjected. "Besides the book's not done yet, or even close to being done yet. I just want to see what someone else has to say. See if there is any interest beyond Jess."

"And if there isn't? Are you still going to write it?"

Rory nodded. "Definitely. You're not getting out of this that easy."

###

"Rory… is it mine?"

One week before Rory's big meeting, Jess found himself with his knee in the dirt, hiding behind Lorelai's almost always busted down Jeep, his hand in Rory's, his eyes firm, yet sincerely looking into her own. He found himself more exhilarated than he had ever been before.

"What?" Rory asked, reeling back from him, almost exposing herself to the harsh glow of the porch light. "No."

Crawling towards him, afraid to be caught lurking in the dark with her ex, Rory took in his face and realised he was being genuine.

"Are you sure?" Jess asked, refusing to let go of her hand even as she ebbed and weaved on her suddenly shaky legs.

Was she sure? Rory started wondering if Jess could be the father. When did she become this woman? This versions of herself? When did she start sleeping with almost married men and longingly gazing at men who were adamantly against being with her? When did she start reminiscing about high school boyfriends and college boyfriends and any boyfriend? Was it around the time the stick turned blue?

Feeling Jess' warm fingers begin to intertwine with her own, Rory was launched back to the week Jess first arrived back home to Stars Hollow. He and Luke were on hero duty, something about Liz and TJ and a vegetable cult. On his last night, she sat alone in the Gazette office, staring blankly a her Doogie Howser era computer unable to write. Wondering what she was doing with her life, a running theme for the past year. She couldn't stand it anymore and sighed so loudly it echoed in the nearly empty space.

"Wow, must be one tough story," Jess said, appearing behind her as if by magic. The best kind of magic, Rory found herself thinking.

She smiled. "What are you doing here?"

"The vegetable crisis is still underway, but I told Luke I needed a night off," he joked, finding his place across from her, easily sliding into the creaky old chair.

"Well, want a drink?" she asked, reaching back into her desk drawer for the good stuff.

"Why don't we go out?" Jess replied.

"Go out?" Rory sounded startled. She was startled. She couldn't remember the last time she and Jess "went out" together.

"Or we could stay here," he quickly coughed out, afraid he may have made the wrong move.

"No, no. Out is good," she told him, standing up. Jess hurriedly followed suit. Rory couldn't help but notice his eagerness. It was so unlike him, but then again everything was so unlike her lately maybe she couldn't tell what was weird and what was just change. _People change, right?_

"What's going on in that head of yours?" he asked, breaking her from her thoughts.

Rory smiled. "Nothing worth repeating."

He nodded, not in agreement - her thoughts were always worth a listen - but Jess knew when to let something lie.

"Where should we go?" he asked her.

"Sadly, there's only one place to go, unless you're in the mood for a milkshake," she joked.

"A liquor spiked milkshake?" he quipped as they walked from the Gazette, Rory triple locking the door behind them.

"I think it's time to take you to the Secret Bar," she told him, striding out onto Main Street, Jess in lock step beside her.

"The Secret Bar? Is that name as literal as I think it is?" he asked.

Rory chuckled. How easy it was to be with Jess. To talk and walk and smile with him. Bonus, he was single. And she remembered his name.

 _Poor, Paul. Damn! I have to break up with that guy,_ she thought.

But with Jess things were surprisingly comfortable. For a second it felt like they were on a date. For a second she almost reached out and grabbed his hand before stopping herself cold. Actually, stopping in the middle of the street.

"What is it?" Jess asked, his face awash with concern.

"This isn't a date, is it?" she questioned before thinking, before second guessing, before stopping herself from being honest. It was a page out of the Lorelai Gilmore Playbook.

"Wow. A date," Jess replied. "Um… I wasn't really-"

"I didn't think so," she interjected.

"You're dating that guy, right?" Jess asked. "What's his name?"

"Uh…" _Come on Rory, you were just thinking about him._ "Pete- uh, Paul. Paul."

"Okay, well how would Pete or Paul or both of them feel if you and I were out on a date?" Jess quipped, his eyes softly creasing as he smiled at her.

"You're right. It's not a date. Of course, it's not a date," she said, chuckling at the stupidity of her earlier question. She knew the Lorelai Gilmore Playbook should have stayed under lock and key.

"Backtracking pretty fast there, Rory," Jess told her.

She didn't know what to say.

"Come on, let me buy you something at this Secret Bar."

"I've had an awful day so I was probably going to make you buy anyway," she joked, leading the way yet again to the alleyway that had become home to the drinkers of Stars Hollow.

Illuminated by soft purple light and a few flickering candles, Rory and Jess found a seat in the back against the brick wall and ordered a few beers. As round three dropped on the table, they were talking - whispering - like old times.

"You've been to how many countries?" Jess asked, amazed.

Rory began counting on her hands. "Seven. No, wait, eight. Why?"

"It's just nice to see you living your dreams. Traveling, writing-"

"Did you not hear my speech the other day? The one about being broke and beaten down?" Rory asked.

"Speech or diatribe?" he joked.

"Yeah, a diatribe against myself," she continued.

"Okay, let's put an end to that," Jess said. "At least for tonight. No talking about the future or writing or our bank balances… or lack there of in your case."

Rory chuckled, catching a gulp of beer in her throat.

"We'll just be two normal people, without baggage or crazy Gilmore issues-"

"Or brooding Marino issues," Rory interjected.

"I haven't brood for quite some time."

"If you say so," Rory joked, taking another sip. Three beers were usually nothing, but suddenly Rory knew skipping lunch and dinner was a bad idea.

"Is it a deal?" Jess asked.

"What? The no past, no baggage, no future talk?"

"We can talk about the past," he told her. "There are some great things in there." Jess smiled.

By the time the Secret Bar closed its gates for the night, Jess and Rory were stumbling down Main Street, happy and too full of beer. Crossing over to the Gazette, keys in hand, ready for another night cap, Rory stumbled over her own feet and fell to the sidewalk with a crash.

Jess couldn't help but laugh. "Oh, wow. Are you okay?" he said, kneeling down beside her.

Hair in her face, a scuff on her knee, the flush of alcohol coursing through her cheeks, Rory looked up and flashed him a sly smile.

"Yeah, you're okay," he told her, taking her hand and pulling her up. Standing face to face he couldn't help himself, "And beautiful."

Awash with boozy confidence, Rory leaned in, her lips growing closer to his own. The pain in her knee and the strewn contents of her purse were an afterthought when Jess put his hands on her hips and closed the tiny gap between them. She inhaled, hard and deep, excitedly waiting for a kiss she was surprised to find she desperately wanted.

A group of Secret Bar revellers crossed the street towards them, making too much noise for Stars Hollow or for Rory and Jess' private moment. In an instant, she pulled back and Jess' hands fell from her hips.

The group chuckled as they passed and Rory felt compelled to cover herself, pulling her jacket tight around her waist in embarrassment. But what did she have to be embarrassed about? It was Jess. _Her_ Jess. And now he was down on the ground picking up her things. He didn't miss a beat. He didn't miss anything about her.

"Want to come inside?" she said, her voice low and inviting.

Jess looked up at her from his spot on the sidewalk, clutching her open purse. "Yeah?"

"Yeah," Rory replied.

###

"Are you sure?" Jess asked again. "I need you to be sure."

Rory opened her mouth to respond, but fear gripped her.

"Rory!" Luke called from the porch scanning the yard for his 32-year-old, runaway, sort of daughter. "Rory!"

Jess spotted the look in Rory's eyes, one of anxiety, maybe even dread. She did not want to go back in that house, not yet, and he knew it. She had dropped a bomb on him, but Jess knew he was going to wince through the explosion and carry on.

"It's me!" he called out to his uncle, rising from his hiding position in the mud.

"Jess?" Luke questioned coming towards them, but Jess whipped past Rory and stopped Luke before he could get any closer to the Jeep. Stopped him before he could see what a mess Rory was.

"Yes, it's me."

"What are you doing?"

"Uh… checking Lorelai's tires," Jess lied.

"Her tires?"

"Yeah. I figure this hunk of junk won't make it to Philadelphia the next time you two come up," he smoothly replied. Lying was like slipping on his old denim jacket.

"When we come up we'll take the truck," Luke began, leading Jess to the vehicle so they could take off to the diner.

Rory waited until she heard the truck's engine rev up and the tires squeal their way out of the drive before she dashed off down the street toward Lane's. She felt the urge to vomit, but she wasn't sure if it was the baby or her encounter with Jess. Or a little bit of both.

###

Sitting in the waiting area, her purse resting firm over her stomach, Rory counted down the seconds to her pitch meeting.

 _This has to work,_ she thought. _I can't write this book with only Jess for feedback. Can I? Or is his the only feedback I ever need?_

Checking her watch for the twentieth-time Rory wondered, _What am I doing here?_

Confused, Rory stood to leave, but before she could make it to the exit door her phone buzzed with a text message.

Rory fished out the device and immediately caught her breath.

The text was from Logan and it read: _Ace, it's important. Call me. Please._


	3. Chapter 3

"How many times has texted you?" Lane asked, her fingers gliding along the spines of countless pregnancy books.

"Texted ? Seven. And he's called three times," Rory replied, picking up a copy of What To Expect When You're Expecting. "It's a classic," she said sarcastically, leafing through it's well-worn pages.

The two best friends were in a used bookstore in New Haven, fairly confident their trek out of Stars Hollow would ensure no one would spot them shopping for information on the you know what. Even still, Rory couldn't help but steal a glance at the door every 30 seconds, just to be sure a familiar face didn't show up.

"Are you going to call him back?" Lane questioned, picking up a copy of Belly Laughs by Jenny McCarthy, before Rory ripped the book from her friend's hand and slammed it back down on the shelf.

"No," she said referring to the book, "And no," she continued, referring to Logan. "At least not yet."

"Why? You already told me and your mom and Luke and-"

"Jess," Rory spit out. She didn't know why, but it suddenly felt like a weight was lifted off her shoulders, but not her conscious. She needed to be honest with someone and Lane was the someone she loved talking to the most. But Lane was silent, staring at Rory with wide, confused eyes.

"Say something," Rory pleaded, but Lane couldn't muster up the courage to ask what they both knew needed to be said. "Fine. Alright. I'll say it. You want to know if he is the father."

"No," Lane told her. "I want to know what the hell is going on."

It had been more than 30 seconds and Rory instinctively looked to the door.

"Oh, no, you're not getting out of this conversation that easy. Don't even think about making a run for the door."

"I wasn't going-"

"What the hell, Rory? Logan _and_ Jess! I don't want to be one of those people who judge because I hate judging. And I don't want to comment on someone's sex life because I've only had sex with one guy and got two little ones out of it on the first try. And I don't want to be the barometer of what's right and wrong in someone else's life. That's not my place. But you are leaving me no choice. I am about to get judgey and comment-y and so morally righteous it would make my mother's heart swell with pride," Lane shouted.

Rory was now not only looking for familiar faces and an exit, but to see if the other shoppers were staring at them.

"Lane-"

"No, Rory. Just no," Lane interjected. "He's about to be married. and , yes, you didn't know he was engaged when you started up again with him, but when he finally told you, you didn't leave or shout or cry. You made the Whatever Happens in London Rule. He's engaged and you slept with him over and over again. Did you learn nothing from the Dean Fiasco?"

"I wouldn't say _nothing_ ," Rory sheepishly replied.

"And Jess. You and Jess? Rory sometimes things don't work out. Sometimes you are supposed to go find new guys out there in the world and not hang on to the ones who wanted you and then didn't and then did again and then ran away like a scared rabbit. Sometimes you deserve better than that."

"I know-" Rory began.

"Not to mention the whole father debacle you are clearly creating to divert attention away from what you don't want to say, let alone think," Lane finished, out of breath.

The owner was now watching them, his hand hovering over the phone just in case either girl decided this was the time to recreate a scene from one of those Housewives shows he'd heard about.

"Can we talk about this somewhere else?" Rory asked.

"Rory, I love you. You know I do, but I can't help you if you won't even try to help yourself," Lane told her before walking out of the store.

Rory dropped her head and blinked back the tears; a copy of What To Expect When You're Expecting still firmly clutched in her right hand.

###

"Wow, Lane said all that?" Paris questioned, sipping on a glass of wine while leaning against her pristine marble countertop. "I'm impressed, and that is not an easy feat."

"I know," Rory replied, sipping on her water ( _stupid water,_ she thought) while leaning back in a beautiful, but completely uncomfortable island chair.

"Also, you're pregnant," Paris said.

"Yeah."

"And you didn't tell me," she continued.

"Yeah."

"And I am a pregnancy expert!"

"Well, I'm already pregnant, so I didn't really need your expertise," Rory explained, taking another sip of water and wishing it was Paris' wine. Or coffee.

"I just thought if you were going to turn to anyone during your time of need it would be me. I'm pragmatic and not overly emotional and I'm already a mother and I help other mothers. I'm basically a one-stop-shop for everything baby. I can even get you really great discounts on cribs and those breast pumps. You definitely need a breast pump. Do not let Logan try to tell you it distorts the nipple. Doyle said that and he just-"

"Okay, whoa, wow, no, stop," the words tumbled from Rory's mouth. "First, ew on the whole breast-slash-Doyle thing. Please don't ever talk about that again. Second, I don't need your resume, Paris. I know how awesome you are. And third, I told my mom and she told Luke and I told Lane and then it felt like if I told people outside of the Stars Hollow bubble it would be real. And I wasn't ready for that."

"And now you are?" Paris questioned.

"I think after Lane's little outburst I have to be."

Paris gulped back the rest of her glass and poured another. "She was right, you know?"

Rory slowly nodded, ashamed to admit that she had known it all along. "Yeah, she was right."

"So what's the plan?" Paris asked.

"You know, everyone has wanted me to make one of those lately, myself included, and suddenly I know what I have to do," Rory told her, standing.

"Okay, but if that baby is going up for adoption I get first dibs."

"Paris!"

"What? I have some very high end, but not so genetically inclined, clients who would forgo surrogacy to have a baby with striking Gilmore-Huntzberger features. I'm talking top dollar, Rory."

Rory was silent, no further protest. She gulped back her disgusting water and headed for the door.

Paris followed, intrigued. "Wait a minute. That's it?"

Rory didn't turn around.

"What aren't you telling me?" Paris continued, but before Rory could respond Paris' reeling mind went into overdrive to find the solution. "Oh my god, I know what's going on."

Rory sighed, Paris was too smart, or she was too stupid, for her own good.

"Lane's not mad about you letting Jess in on the secret or even about the idea that Jess might be the father. She's mad because you know who the father is. You know. Rory Gilmore would not get pregnant and not know. But for some reason you don't want it to be his. You want it to be the other guy's. You want a get out of jail free card and Lane gets it. I get it. And soon, Rory, these guys are going to get it too."

Paris grabbed Rory by the arm and turned her old friend to face her.

"It's Logan's, but you want the father to be Jess. You're having your own little Lorelai junior moment with the dad who comes from money and is never around and the guy who should be the dad, the dirty, kinda sexy one who you just know is-"

"Don't finish that sentence," Rory begged her, not wanting to think of Luke as sexy. Or to even have Paris think of Jess as sexy. It was all too much. "I'm turning into my mother and, Lane's right, it's all of my creation."

Rory began to cry.

"No, Rory. You're turning into some strange amalgamation of your mother and a terribly wimpy version of yourself. It's like first year of Chilton Rory up in here."

'What?"

"Logan is not your dad. Yes, in this weird fantasy you have going he fits the Christopher bill nicely, but you know that he would drop everything to be with you if you told him. Stop assuming that won't. And Jess is… well, no he's actually a lot like Luke, which means you have two men who would probably stop their lives to raise a baby with you, one of which isn't even the father of said baby. So stop moping and whining and freaking out. Lane was right. I'm right. And guess what, Rory, your mom was right 32 years ago and she raised a pretty great daughter so would it be so terrible to turn out like her?"

This outpouring of affection from Paris was so unlike her. There it was again, people surprising her when she thought she was couldn't possibly be surprised anymore.

Rory smiled through her tears and leaned in for a hug.

"Whoa, Rory. I barely hug my own children," Paris said, leaning back.

"Seriously? I'm pregnant and a crying mess and I just had an epiphany and I need some support."

"I will support you with my words and my spare bedroom."

"Come on, Paris," Rory pleaded.

"Fine. There, there," Paris told her while patting her head.

"Paris, hug me, or I'm going to tell everyone about your Tristan-related breakdown."

"You bitch," Paris exclaimed. "Wait, which one?"

"Just hug me."

And Paris did.

###

 _We have to talk about that night,_ Rory texted Jess as soon as she arrived back in Stars Hollow. Thankfully, she and Lane had taken their own cars or she would have been pregnant and stuck in New Haven. Or pregnant and unable to drive to New York to see Paris. Or just pregnant. Actually that last one was happening with or without a car, and somehow Rory was finally getting used to it.

Jess met her in the gazebo, the very place she had told Lorelai she was pregnant three weeks before. Everything was happening so fast.

"Hey," he said as he found his place beside her on the steps.

"Hey," she replied.

"How are you feeling?"

"Good, I guess," she told him, not sure what he was looking for. Did he want to know how she was feeling about them, about their relationship, or lack thereof? Did he want to know how she was feeling as a struggling writer and stay-at-home daughter? Or did he want to make sure she wasn't going to vomit on him due to baby-related stomach churns?

"So the other night," Jess began. "I didn't mean to startle you and I understand if you need some time to figure out what's going on, but you're pregnant Rory and I think we need to be sure that-"

"No, Jess," Rory said, interrupting what she was sure would have been a elegant speech on responsibility and honor and maybe even love. "You're not the father."

Jess sighed. She could tell he was sad.

"And I know you're not the father because that night at the Gazette… well, we didn't have sex."

Jess chuckled and shook his head. "I thought so, but I wasn't sure. In the morning you were rooting around for your underwear and I wasn't wearing my shirt. Plus, I had a beer and bourbon headache. So I-"

"Put two and two together," Rory finished for him. "I know. But I was only rooting around for my underwear until I remember I wasn't wearing any to begin with," she cracked. "And you were shirtless because… well, I don't know, but I do remember a half-hearted game of strip something or other. And I had a beer and bourbon headache too so I didn't stick around to explain or figure things out or even make sure you were okay."

"Make sure _I_ was okay?" Jess asked. Rory nodded sheepishly. "Don't worry. That Charlie guy came in right after you left."

"Oh god," Rory cried, covering her face in her hands. "That's why he kept smiling at me all day. I thought he was having a stroke."

Jess laughed in earnest. It felt good to get it all out on the table. "Well, after Charlie and I talked about Stars Hollow's contribution to the war-"

"Which one?" Rory asked.

"I don't know. The guy's old. Like, really old. I'm thinking the Civil War."

Rory leaned back on her hands, so comfortable that she let her jacket slide open and Jess couldn't help but look down at her belly.

"Anyway," he said, snapping himself from any daydream he knew he wasn't supposed to have. "After my illuminating talk with Charlie I went back to the diner, got a coffee and drove home to Philly. I guess what I'm saying is, I didn't stick around talk about it or worry about you either… I _did_ worry, but I just-"

"I know," Rory said. And she did know. She would always worry and wonder about Jess. And she knew he would do the same for her. It brought her comfort. It made her feel for a moment the safety she was talking about with Dean the last time she saw him.

"So, you're pregnant," Jess finally said, breaking the calm.

"Yeah, I am."

"Are you okay?"

"About being pregnant?" she asked, before nodding in reply. "Actually, I am. There was a minute there… maybe more than a minute, where I wasn't so sure. But, yeah, I think I'm going to be okay. I'm sorry if I freaked you out."

"You didn't," he told her, and Rory couldn't help but raise an eyebrow in response. "Okay, yes, maybe a little. But there are worse things... much, much worse things, than having a baby with you, Rory."

He quickly cleared his throat, as if to clear out the sentiment, but it was still there between them.

"I guess, for a second there, I wanted you to be the father," she admitted to him and, finally, to herself. "I just didn't think I deserved that kind of happiness."

"Deserved?"

"It's a long story, but I haven't been the best person as of late," she began. "Or the best version of myself. But think that's about to change," she said, her hand resting gently on her stomach.

"Well, if it helps, for a second there, I wanted to be the father too," Jess revealed.

Rory could tell it wasn't something he intended to let slip, but there they were with their secrets out and the air cleared. It felt wonderful.

Without thinking, Rory leaned in to kiss him, but her phone buzzed with a text halting her mid-way. It was from Logan.

 _I'm here._


End file.
